36 Things I’m Carrying Forward (and 6 I’m Leaving Behind)
Birthdays invite reflection. As I step into 36, I am holding on to the lessons, practices, and joys that keep me grounded. I am also making peace with what I no longer need to carry. This is both a celebration and a release. Here is what I am bringing with me, and what I am leaving behind.
36 Things I’m Carrying Forward
Healing & Growth
1. Choosing alignment over approval.
There was a time when people-pleasing ruled my life and left me drained. Now I check in with myself first. If it doesn’t align with my values or capacity, the answer is no.
2. Rest as a form of resistance and productivity.
Rest is not something I earn. It is essential, and when I shut my laptop on time or allow myself to nap, I watch creativity bloom.
3. Honoring my chronic illness as a teacher, not a limitation.
Illness may slow my pace, but it does not cancel my impact. My body has taught me resilience, boundary-setting, and the power of pacing.
4. Therapy, not just for others but for me too.
I have had my therapist since before I graduated with my MSW, and she has been a steady anchor. Therapy helps me tend to my own wellness so I can hold space for others.
5. Saying “no” without apology.
No is a full sentence. Protecting my energy clears the way for better yeses.
6. The truth that softness is not weakness.
I was not created to carry the world on my shoulders. Allowing myself softness, leaning on my village, and crying when I need to, is strength in practice.
7. Releasing perfection in exchange for presence.
Mistakes will happen. Every time I try, even if I stumble, I am falling forward into growth.
8. My Aligned & Liberated framework as a guidepost.
I return to my framework again and again. Assessing what works, healing what doesn’t, and curating my life with intention is how I live.
Business & Purpose
9. Leading Village of Sound Mind from a heart-centered place.
From the start, I envisioned a practice rooted in care, collaboration, and integrity. Every decision comes back to one question: does this create healing space for my community?
10. Speaking up in spaces that were not built for me.
Policy advocacy and organizing grew out of frustration, but also out of hope. When I use my voice, I disrupt systems that were never designed for me and remind them they cannot function without us.
11. Writing as liberation and legacy.
My words are part of my legacy. Writing allows me to speak truth, break silence, and leave breadcrumbs for others to find their way.
12. Delegating instead of over-functioning.
I can do everything, but I don’t have to. Asking for help frees me to focus on what I do best.
13. Building reciprocal community, not just networks.
Networking is transactional, but community is transformational. Village of Sound Mind was built with people I trust and pour into, and who do the same for me.
14. Creativity that honors both my quirks and my mental health.
I don’t hide the parts of me that make me unique—anime, gaming, books, even reality TV. Those quirks fuel my creativity, helping me teach in ways that land.
15. Rooting my work in decolonized, anti-oppressive practice.
The systems I was trained in were not built for me or my community. I honor the lineage before me and practice through a lens that sees people as whole.
16. Creating offers that honor my energy and capacity.
Success does not mean overextending myself. I build offers that serve my community while leaving me space to rest and live.
Spiritual & Emotional Anchors
17. Rituals and routines that ground me.
My mornings—scripture, meditation, journaling—are sacred. They ensure I can hold space for others without losing myself.
18. Trusting God’s timing over my own deadlines.
Every time I try to rush, I am reminded that what is for me will not miss me. God’s timing has always been better than mine.
19. Vulnerability as a sacred act.
Sharing my truth in friendships, business, or writing feels risky. Yet it creates space for deeper connection every time.
20. Friendships that feel like safe harbors.
The older I get, the more I cherish friendships that feel like home. These relationships give me permission to exhale.
21. Choosing joy, even in grief.
Grief and joy can coexist. Even on hard days, I can find joy in laughter, music, or the reminder that I am still here.
22. Grace for myself in transition.
Life has shifted a lot over the past few years. Instead of rushing through, I give myself grace to move slowly and let change unfold.
23. Permission to celebrate small wins.
Not every victory is a milestone. Sometimes it is sending the scary email, finishing a walk, or taking the nap, and those moments matter too.
24. Deepening intimacy with self before seeking it from others.
The relationship I have with myself sets the tone for all others. Learning to be honest and gentle with myself is the foundation.
Play & Everyday Life
25. Traveling as a reset for creativity.
Trips, whether near or far, shake me out of routine and give me perspective. Travel reminds me there is more to life than my to-do list.
26. My love of anime as a mirror for healing.
Characters and storylines help me explain trauma, growth, and resilience in ways that resonate. Anime is not just entertainment, it is a lens for healing.
27. Gaming as both escape and connection.
Gaming lets me unwind and disconnect from stress. It also builds connection, whether with my partner or with communities that share the joy.
28. Dance breaks between tasks.
Moving my body, even for one song, resets my energy. Dance has become medicine between long stretches of work.
29. Long walks that count as both workout and prayer.
Walking is my favorite low-stress exercise. It is where I talk to God, clear my mind, and reconnect with my body.
30. Curating cozy, joy-filled spaces at home.
My home is my sanctuary. From candles to plants to soft blankets, I choose things that make peace visible.
31. Laughing loud and often.
Laughter heals. Whether it comes from memes, TV, or time with friends, it is always a reset.
32. Napping without guilt.
Resting in the middle of the day does not make me lazy. It makes me human, and more energized afterward.
33. Celebrating Black joy unapologetically.
In a world that tries to strip it away, Black joy is resistance. I choose to celebrate it daily and loudly.
34. Music as medicine.
Music grounds me, lifts me, and moves me. Some days a playlist does what words cannot.
35. Documenting life with more pictures.
I want to remember the joy, not just the struggle. Taking more photos helps me see the beauty in everyday life.
36. Saying yes to softness, silliness, and soul.
I do not need to be serious all the time. Letting silliness and softness in keeps me whole.
6 Things I’m Leaving Behind
1. Hustle culture as identity.
I no longer want to measure my worth by how much I produce. Hustle culture taught me to grind until I had nothing left. That is not living, it is only surviving, and I choose sustainability instead.
2. People-pleasing that shrinks me.
For too long I silenced myself to make others comfortable. That version of me said yes while my spirit was saying no. I am no longer contorting myself into shapes that were never mine.
3. Internalized ableism toward my chronic illness.
I have carried shame about what my body cannot do, but that shame is not mine to hold. My illness requires pacing, not punishment. I release the belief that I am “less than” because my capacity looks different.
4. Comparison to others’ timelines.
Stacking my life against someone else’s has only stolen joy. My story is mine, unfolding at a pace that fits me. I leave behind the illusion that I am behind.
5. Fear of being “too much.”
I once dimmed my light to fit in and softened my truth so I would not overwhelm others. I have learned that the right people will never think I am too much. They will know I am exactly enough.
6. The urge to carry what was never mine.
I have held onto other people’s expectations, grief, and responsibilities as if they were mine to solve. Their load is not my load. I am leaving behind the weight that keeps me from walking in freedom.
Closing
Stepping into 36 feels like stepping into more of myself: grounded, tender, joyful, and unapologetically aligned. I am carrying forward what nourishes me and leaving the rest in the last chapter.
